I am here to be completely honest. Honest with my thoughts, my feels, my scenery, and most of all my purpose. Sunday night I received a message from a coworker that slapped me in the face: "All of our normal patients will be transferred out. All positive COVID-19 patients will be transferred in." The governor said for us to quarantine but I still wondered how serious could this be? I heard of it in China. I was warned that COVID was coming. Covid was some "flu-like virus" that my coworkers and I joked about. We giggled at our charge nurse wiping everything down and wearing goggles in January before the virus arrived in NYC. Pandemics. We learned about them in epidemiology class. We knew the science behind it. We learned the definitions. But no one can prepare you for living through it. Even if you are not exposed and you're safe in your houses, no one can prepare you for the mental aspects of a pandemic. Shift #1 My night coworkers look like